Written by Leanne Josh Dinglasan

One of the things I will not forget back in elementary was when I came second in the honor roll. I remember running home quickly with tears in my eyes because I wanted and expected to be at the top of the class. How dramatic of me. Now, I would laugh at the thought of my former overly grade-conscious self. There were more challenges when high school came, but I was always one to adapt quickly. I thought I would fare just as fine in college. This mindset is probably one of the sources of my college woes.

I still relish my old high school achievements. They made me feel relevant and needed – utterly superficial, I know. I was comfortable as the shy and adaptable kid recognized for what I do. I realize now that that chapter of my life is over and that I have to move forward, start anew. I liked science since I was young and I felt good at it. Now that I am in college, I thought, “I’m not so good at it after all.” College is a different playing field, and it demands me to grow and evolve. We will miss the point of life if we keep on resisting change. We have to take on opportunities that come by. If we will not open ourselves to new things, unlearn old habits, and step out of our comfort zones, we would get lost. We always have to outgrow ourselves.

I know that change is not as easy as replacing a shirt. I wish it is. Change is not all rainbows and butterflies. It may even feel like you are uprooting your life and everything you thought you knew about yourself. It comes with uncertainty, stress, and worry – but I trust that every change is toward something huge. Think of a caterpillar. We may think that a caterpillar is fine as it is, nibbling at leaves and sleeping, but it can turn into something even prettier and valuable. Their metamorphosis might be risky and delicate, but it is worth it and exquisite.

When speaking of change, the Six of Swords tarot card crosses my mind. It generally represents moving on and new beginnings. Its imagery reminds me of sailing off from turbulent waters to tranquil ones. We may still carry the swords or remnants from the past, but they are just reminders of the battles we won and the capabilities we have. We are not the same person we were years, months, or days ago, and we certainly have it in us to be the person we want to become.