Written by: Ronan De Guia

To: Office of the University Registrar
From: Ronan De Guia, BA Organizational Communication
Subject: Application for Program Withdrawal

I am writing to confess my insurmountable distress; well-aware and well-guilted of the burden I am causing. As it pains me to admit, I’ve been drowning in the debt of generational regret for the life I left rotting.

Long before cubicled rooms impended sitting-down tombs, I was a slave nonetheless to the original womb from which my being was birthed; by she with whom I unearthed just how to write the word mirth in a poem. You see, my mother had tried so well to sing so much life into this vessel of mine with my father. But as they failed to provide the space for dreams to reside, I bowed beneath the catslide of my squalor.

To put it straight: money favors men who write in e-mail ‘stead of prose. Learn to kill your darlings ‘til your darlings can’t revolt. Place your faith within your worthless soul until it’s sold— a prophecy foretold.

So I’ve been taking odd jobs on the side, just a little music to silence the screams. Writing scores to films made by souls birthed in lives that afford them the chance to chase darlings and dreams. For the envy in my body, I confess, sings of my death. For how long can one placate the screeching carcass of regret?

I’m writing this to rip the chest open, and let the beating decide. The cardiac rhythm of life, I find, is oftentimes right. I wish to write to my mother, but she must never find out. My sacrificial endeavor has started rotting my mouth. 

Those raised in money to raise more money won’t come to see me leave by the door. A silent evil amongst the people entombed in cubicled rooms evermore. For as the rot’s yet to run down my neck; I am emboldened to pay off my debt. Know that the flaws of decision are mine. Know that I briefly enjoyed my time. 

To whoever’s hired to read this—I don’t believe I truly care; But is your purpose served in cubicles or do they serve to keep you there? I thank you for your time, and if I’m right, I’ll know it so. I hope this message finds you well; I hope this e-mail frees us both.

Regards,
Ronan De Guia
BA Organizational Communication
University of the Philippines Manila